Trying to Soar...Again

I started this blog several years ago, with the intention of joining some friends who were blogging about teaching or other life journeys. It seemed to me a good way to connect to people with similar interests and goals, a way to share those moments, learning events, or activities to an audience who may eventually use my experiences to help themselves, or perhaps just smile a little when they realize they're not alone in their journey. After all, teaching can be a very tough job, and sometimes it just helps to know you're not the only one dealing with challenges. It all sounded. so. good.

Then life got in the way gave me a reality check. Raising two young children (often alone, because of a husband who traveled frequently for work), teaching full time while earning a Master's degree, and mentoring two teachers...well, you get the idea. I had high hopes, but the reality was that I just didn't have the time (energy?) to add another activity to my daily to-dos.

So the blog just sat frozen in cyberspace (does anyone even say that anymore? Cyberspace? No? Oh well.). No one really knew about it, so it wasn't really a big deal--it wasn't like I was letting my thousands of followers down by abandoning this little page that I had started, right? But every time I saw the little shortcut on my home screen, I felt a little twinge of disappointment that I hadn't been successful at following through on something I started. I'm not the kind of person that does things half-way. I've always been an "over-achiever" (don't get me started on that term--it drives me CRAZY! More about that on another day). When I choose to tackle something, it. gets. done. and it gets done well. This blog though, I just couldn't do it.

Until now.

I think.

This past summer, I moved with my family to a new state. My husband got a new job and we decided to relocate. Part of the agreement we made as we chose to embark on our new journey was that I was going to take a year off from teaching. Part of this decision had to do with the (unfortunate) timing of moving during what I call "hiring season" for teachers, combined with needing to get licensed to teach in a new state, and the desire for me to help my children get settled into their new life. We just thought it would be wise for our family if I stayed home. So far, it's all working out.

Fast forward to today. Kids are settled, boxes unpacked, volunteering hours have been (and continue to be) logged at both of their schools. Everything is GREAT. Except I miss teaching.

I'm missing the camaraderie that came from those shared experiences of complaining together about that long staff meeting after school, or having a meeting with that parent that we were all dreading, or that rare and glorious day when we got to wear jeans to school. I miss the connections with my students--the little anecdotes that they would share with me, the troubles we'd talk through together as they unpacked their things, the excitement they had for learning new skills and content. I miss the excitement that I got from searching and searching and planning and planning for that perfect unit or lesson. I miss the satisfaction and pride I got from being able to help other teachers in their own journeys.

I also love being home, though. I truly believe my family has benefitted from the HUGE reduction in work-related stress in my life. I'm available to them more now than ever-- I am a ROOM MOM! What?! I did NOT see that coming! Not gonna lie-- I am also enjoying the reduction in ironing spraying wrinkle releaser on my work clothes. Jeans are my new best friend. I can wear them whenever I want and I love it. I'm not sure I am ready to get back into teaching just yet. Maybe. I'm not sure.

So for now anyways, how do I find a balance between my lifelong love of teaching and learning, with staying home and providing a good environment for my children and husband? I'm not sure. Yet. But for now, I think I'll give this blogging thing a try. I'm going to push beyond the comfort of my (new) daily routine and put myself out there. And who knows? Maybe I'll make some new connections. Maybe I'll learn a thing or two. Maybe I'll be talking to no one but myself! But that's okay, because I'm learning and I'm growing. And I'm still wearing my jeans. Maybe someday I'll be soaring.

Thanks for reading--
~Jen