Nine Strategies for Helping Gifted Students Manage Perfectionism

I didn't get my driver's license until I was 20 years old.

And it wasn't because I was some terrible driver who kept failing the driving exam.

It was because until I was 20, I didn't sign up for the test.

I avoided taking the test because I was afraid to fail.

Afraid of making mistakes. Not achieving my goal. Feeling embarrassed in front of the driving examiner, my family, and my friends for not passing the test. Feeling that somehow, I was some kind of loser for not being able to pass a silly test that thousands of "regular" people pass every day.

Does this sound familiar to you? If you haven't personally experienced these feelings, perhaps you've seen signs in your students. Maybe they're procrastinators, avoiding the work until the very last minute. Maybe they avoid certain tasks altogether.  Perhaps they barely try on certain assignments because trying their best and not achieving the (sometimes unrealistic) goals they've set for themselves means they like themselves less because they've associated their self-worth with their achievement and perfection. These children are, essentially, creating a layer of protection around themselves because they never started, tried their hardest, or did their best, so no one can actually judge them on their true capability. This task avoidance is a form of coping with the sometimes crippling effects of perfectionism.

So, how do we help our gifted students develop a healthy mindset about achievement while still allowing them to set high goals and strive to achieve great things?

What is perfectionism and who does it affect?

Perfectionism usually takes on one of two forms: healthy perfectionism and its (appropriately, though not creatively named) opposite, unhealthy perfectionism. Although perfectionism is well documented among the gifted population (even to the point that it is an indicator on screeners for gifted identification), it occurs at pretty much the same rate among the non-gifted population as well.

In this NAGC article, healthy perfectionism has been defined as a person's ability to do their best and then move on, the person's ability to set high personal standards while still being accepting of their imperfect themselves, and being able to manage their behaviors so that they don't interfere with daily life.

According to the same article, perfectionism reaches unhealthy levels when there is a bigger emphasis on or rewarding of performance over other aspects of life, having the perception that one's work is never good enough, feeling continuously dissatisfied about one's work (which could eventually lead to anxiety and depression), experiencing feelings of guilt if not continuously engaged in meaningful work, and having a serious compulsion or drive to achieve, so much so, that the person places their own personal value based on what they accomplish or produce.

Unhealthy perfectionism is also a way of thinking. It's the perception that there are only two options for doing things: it's perfect or it's worthless.

At extreme levels, perfectionism can lead to self-defeat, underachievement, physical pain, alcoholism, eating disorders, depression, OCD and other maladaptive symptoms or behaviors.

How can we help our students deal with perfectionism (fear of failure, and task avoidance)?

Being #totallyhonest here. Unhealthy perfectionism is a complicated beast, with many possible contributors. This list of tips could be pages and pages long, but after much research, I'm leaving nine of the ideas I thought would be most valuable from my perspective as a perfect person recovering perfectionist. 

1. Create or adopt an affective curriculum--we often assume that children pick up these "soft skills" on their own by watching how others interact and deal with things. And to some extent, that is true. But for gifted children and other differently-abled children, some of these skills require extra focus, explicit teaching, modeling, and practice. 
2. Help the child decide ahead of time when to quit--One interesting component of perfectionism is that people sometimes have a hard time deciding when enough is enough. This is definitely something I struggle with (hellooooo lengthy blog posts... 🙄😬). Whether you decide on a time limit or a certain number of sentences, a particular number of objectives, or set of sub-topics, a conference with the child focusing on what a reasonable stopping point is could help release the child from some of the perfection pressure. 
3. Work together to set realistic goals--Make sure that these aren't just any goals. Children who struggle with perfectionism benefit from realistic goals that focus on improvement and/or progress over perfection. It would be beneficial to take the goal setting one step further by helping the child map out incremental steps and set times to check in and take a peek at the progress being made. 
4. Help the child separate their self-worth from grades/products/evaluations and the gifted label--This is a complicated imperative, but we can start by being careful with how we praise perfectionistic students. Focusing on the positive parts of their performance, and focusing on their effort over their achievement are two ways to help. Further, when assignments come back with less than perfect scores, sit down with the child to compare their product with the rubric or expectations of the assignment. Put the child in charge of vocalizing what improvements they would make while teachers/parents focus on what went well. 
5. Share your mistakes with students--This seems obvious, but especially for teachers who like to maintain an aura of perfection, sometimes we really need to consciously take this step. 
6. Study the lives of eminent people-- Focus on the person's path to success, qualities that they
   
   possess that have helped enable their success, and what kind of barriers they had to overcome in order to achieve success. 
7. Change YOUR attitude about failure--Sometimes we need to work on and model our own response to making mistakes. Handling them with humor and a positive attitude goes a long way. Speaking aloud your own internal self-talk about how you can grow from the mistake provides students with a model for their own self-talk. 
8. Play a round of Worst Case Scenario--if your student is really struggling with getting started or if the fear of failure is really preventing them from doing work commensurate with their abilities and you suspect perfectionism is the culprit, sometimes sitting down to think of and write out the actual WORST thing that could happen if the child fails helps put everything into perspective. Chances are, they will see how their big worries are comparing to small potential outcomes, and be able to move on toward meeting their goals. Conferring with the child after the stressful event or assignment would be a great way to help the child start connecting the dots to see that the worst things they had imagined really didn't happen!  
9. Use books with characters who struggle and make mistakes--I'm a big believer in bibliotherapy.  I think sharing books with children that focus on perfectionism and the fear of failure can really go a long way in promoting positive ways to deal with these stresses. Keep an eye out for a future post featuring 15 books you can use with your students! 

I hope that through using these tips, you can help your students start to overcome their own perfectionism. May you have students who do not choose to wait for years to achieve something they really want!

Got other ideas? Leave me a comment or send me an email with suggestions. I'd love to hear them!


P.S. You can get a FREE copy of that infographic with the nine tips above by clicking on the picture, or clickng right here! *Just to be clear, by clicking to get this freebie (and instant access to the growing collection of free resources in my library of subscriber exclusives), you're also agreeing to be added to my email list, where I'll send occasional messages with fresh ideas, tips, and other resources straight to your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time.*


Thanks so much for stopping by!


Information for this post was collected from the following sources: 

Burdick, Anne Marie. (2017). Gifted Students and Perfectionism. Teaching for High Potential. NAGC

Perfectionism on NAGC Website

Pyryt, Michael. (2004) Helping Gifted Students Cope with Perfectionism. Parenting for High Potential. NAGC

Rimm, Sylvia. (2000). What's Wrong with Perfect? 

Cullins, Ashley. (2017). 6 Ways to Help Your Child Overcome the Fear of Failure. Big Life Journal.

1

How I Used Shoes to Create a Classroom Culture of Acceptance

My last two posts were about children with dual exceptionalities. I gave some tips on how to identify these special children (and why), as well as some helpful ways you can help these special children. You can find those posts here and here. Part of my last post focused on creating an accepting classroom environment for your 2E students.

Today I'm going to expand on that idea of creating an accepting environment for 2E children. Of alllllll of the activities, discussions, and routines I worked hard at implementing at the beginning of the school year,  this is the one lesson that I feel really helped lay the groundwork for a successful and supportive learning environment, in which children were free to be themselves, and where we accepted, acknowledged, and even celebrated our differences.

How it started...

One really great exercise I did with students at the start of the school year was based on a lesson from "The Sisters" Gail Boushey and Joan Moser, creators of the Daily 5/Café reading structure/strategies. In their book, The CAFE Book, they suggest a demonstration involving shoes to describe the process of choosing a "good fit" book. I first used this in my language arts classes to help guide children in the selection of books that matched their reading needs.

In a nutshell, I brought in a bunch of my family's shoes and we talked about how I wouldn't wear my high heels for gym class and my hiking boots were definitely not appropriate for my date night to a fancy restaurant (this was the analogy used to teach about choosing books to suit the child's purpose for reading.) The lesson went on with me demonstrating how neither my daughter's infant shoe nor my husband's tennis shoes were a good fit for me--they were obviously too big and too small (this connected to picking books that were neither way too easy or way too difficult). The lesson continued as we talked about choosing books that we were interested in, could understand, etc.

It soon became apparent to me that this lesson could also work really well when speaking to the class about differentiated instruction in my classroom.

The analogies now worked in new ways.

They offered a really concrete way for children to see that just because what they were doing in class (or when they came to my resource room) was different, it wasn't better or worse than what the other kids were doing. It was just different.  It was what they needed, what they deserved, and what (we hoped) would help them to grow the most as learners.

How it played out...

Because I worked hard at offering students choice in the classroom through the use of menus, projects, choice reading, etc., we went on a pretend fantasy shoe-shopping trip so that students could engage in exercising their preferences.

I selected images ahead of time for different kinds of shoes in the same category. For example, if the category was shoes to wear to PE class, I gathered several images of gym shoes and put them up for the class to see and vote on favorites. We talked about how everyone has their own style and preferences when it comes to the shoes they chose. Maybe two children had both selected tennis shoes, but it was clear that the child who had chosen the flashy, light-up, glittery, neon show-stoppers had a different style sense than the child who had chosen the well-loved, broken-in, simple black Chuck Taylors. And that was OKAY! In fact, it was awesome to see the differences! Some children chose shoes for comfort, some chose for style, and some chose for ease of putting on and taking off.

It was all great because at least they got to choose according to their own desires and needs at the time.

**Before I describe the next steps, it is important to note that for this exercise specifically, I did not use the children's actual shoes. The reality is that some children don't get to choose their shoes--they're glad to have shoes that fit and function at all because of financial or other difficulties at home. There is no reason to draw attention to the potential differences in socio-economic status or other out-of-school difficulties here.**

Next, we talked about shoe size. I had children take off their shoes and line them up according to size (sometimes I had them take measurements if it was during math!). We of course quickly learned that the children's shoes were all different sizes. This lead to a conversation about how it wouldn't make sense to make someone with a size-11 foot squeeze into a size-five shoe. Clearly, the child had long outgrown the size five shoe and was ready for a bigger size.  It didn't mean anything was wrong with the child, or that he or sheet was in some way better than someone with smaller feet, it just meant that they were growing at different rates. We talked about how this was the same for children's learning in school. I wish I had video footage of the faces I would see during this lesson. Watching those connections be made, and having someone acknowledge, maybe for the first time, that their learning differences were natural and normal and to be expected instead of better or worse than someone else was so great kinda magical.

Next, we talked about the purpose of the shoes. Sandals for the beach, athletic shoes for playing sports, dress shoes for special occasions. We sometimes wear different shoes when we have different needs. I used this when I was addressing children's concerns about being seen as different when they came to my resource room for their gifted instruction. Just like they would choose sandals or flipflops for the beach, they came to me and were grouped together as learners for a specific purpose--to meet their needs!

Finally, we talked about caring for our shoes. I had students picture their best, most favorite shoe (or any possession, really). We shared a bit about their favorites and then I turned the conversation to have the children imagine being able to hold on to that special pair of shoes (or other items) forever. What would it take to protect the shoes (treating them nice, not beating them up, cleaning them when they got dirty, etc.) How can we make sure our favorite slippers stay nice so we can keep them as long as possible? How can we keep our shoes from looking like the tattered, neglected, abandoned shoes like the ones below?

To complete the analogy, we talked about the human connection. What are some ways in the classroom that we can make each other feel that we are those treasured shoes? How can we care for each other so that we can keep each other feeling valued, protected, and cared for? This always led to a great student-led conversation about treating each other with kindness and compassion, not pointing out differences, understanding that they all need to be looked after with great care. We talked about the importance of fixing problems as they come up, and valuing each other. We closed the discussion by considering the fact that each one of us is someone's favorite, and we each deserve to be treated as such.

Students came away from this lesson having a really concrete and clear picture of how, in my classroom at least, we would view, acknowledge, accept, and celebrate our differences.

And I truly feel like it made a difference in how students perceived each other, especially when it came to differentiated instructional opportunities.

We had fewer issues with jealousy and judging because our classroom culture was being shaped into a community of people who understood that decisions were made according to what students truly needed and deserved as the unique individuals in our class.

What are some of the ways you've engaged children in your classrooms or at home in discussions about acceptance and respect for other people's differences? Leave me a comment below!

14

Why Are We Holding Back Our Brightest Kids? The Truth About Academic Acceleration and Your Gifted Child

Think of some of today’s young talented celebrities: Lebron James, Taylor Swift, Dakota Fanning. These are people whom the country has deemed to have some sort of genius—athletic, musical, or dramatic. These are people who were given permission to reach their potential as gifted people at their own pace. Imagine someone telling Lebron that he couldn’t play basketball for the NBA right out of high school because he was too young – or because we were concerned that he wouldn’t develop good social relationships with his older teammates. Imagine telling Dakota Fanning (the youngest person ever to be nominated for a Screen Actors Guild award) that she wasn’t ready to be an actor because she might not fit in with her peers on the set. It sounds ridiculous, right? Yet teachers, parents, and administrators express these types of concerns about our brightest young people and hold them back based on these same presumptions each day. Most educators deeply mistrust the idea of accelerating gifted and talented children, believing (often incorrectly) that acceleration will negatively impact kids socially and academically. Today's post will explore some really important information that you should consider carefully if you are a parent or teacher of a gifted child. The majority of this post has been taken from a paper I wrote in grad school a while ago, but the information still rings so very true. 

What is acceleration?

Acceleration occurs when students are allowed to “progress through an educational program at rates faster or at ages younger than conventional” (Brown, 1993). Acceleration can apply to a wide range of strategies, beginning as young as kindergarten, and continuing through college. It can apply to 18 different strategies, including skipping entire grades, early entrance to kindergarten or first grade, subject acceleration, in which students are moved to higher grade levels only for particular subject matter, “telescoping” curriculum—that is accomplishing 3 years worth of curriculum in 2, participating in fast-paced extracurricular classes, or entering into college early (Robinson, Shore, & Enersen, 2007).  Acceleration can also take the form of continuous progress, self-paced instruction, curriculum compacting, mentoring, correspondence courses, early graduation, concurrent/dual enrollment, advanced placement, credit by examination, acceleration in college, early entrance into middle school, high school, or college (Colangelo, Assouline, & Gross, 2004). 

Why accelerate?

The need for acceleration of gifted students becomes evident when we consider several factors that we know about gifted learners. First, these students tend to learn more quickly than their peers. They can absorb and process information efficiently. Second, Gifted students are able to comprehend information in greater depth than other students. Third, talented students come to class with readiness that is different from that of average ability students. It has been noted that they come to class already knowing between 50 and 85 percent of the prescribed material (Den-Mo, 2007).

There is not much documentation on the history of acceleration. According to Brown, acceleration is a recent educational option—stating that, “the idea that children should remain with their chronological peers was not widely held before the mid-nineteenth century. It was expected that student performance would mandate where students were placed and when they graduated” (Brown, 1993, p. 3). It was not until later when school attendance increased because education for all became a mandate, and psychological theories about child development led to the creation of a more formalized age-grade structure (Brown, 1993). 

What are the effects?

The good

Much research has been conducted on the effects of acceleration in any of its forms, with benefits shown in most cases.  In A Nation Deceived: How Schools Hold Back America’s Brightest Students, the authors conducted a meta-analysis of studies conducted on acceleration and found that bright students almost always benefit from accelerated programs of study (Colangelo, Assouline, & Gross, 2004, p. 29). On achievement tests, “accelerated students perform almost as well as their older classmates, even those with similar IQs—meaning that an accelerated 7-year-old with an IQ of 133 typically scores nearly as well on the same test as a 133 IQ 8-year-old who has had an extra year of school” (Cloud, Badowski, Rubiner, & Scully, 2004, p. 57). These same accelerated children far outscore their age-mates, who are equally gifted, but remained in their grade-level (Cloud, Badowski, Rubiner, & Scully, 2004). The meta-analytic studies conducted by the University of Iowa also showed that other provisions for gifted students were less effective than acceleration, with the average effect size being .41 for special programs of enrichment for gifted and talented students. The study also concludes that accelerated students are more likely to aspire to advanced degrees (Colangelo, Assouline, & Gross, 2004). 

The most frequent refrain that teachers, parents, and administrators voice about acceleration is a concern for the social-emotional well-being of the children. While acceleration, especially radical acceleration (think 11-year-olds attending college), and grade skipping can come with potential issues, the research has shown that in general the benefits outweigh the negative effects—especially when plans are made carefully and several recommended factors are considered prior to moving the student. Researchers have found that there is almost no effect on the participation in school activities. Accelerated students participate as much in extracurricular and co-curricular activities as their non-accelerated peers (Colangelo, Assouline, & Gross, 2004). 

The (temporarily) not as good

There are several issues that may arise when a child is accelerated though they have usually been deemed small and short-lived in most cases. According to the University of Iowa study, the meta-analysis showed that students may experience a slight readjustment in their self-image because of the move to a more intellectually challenging atmosphere with academic peers. The authors note that this effect usually seems to be quite small and short-lived, but that it shouldn’t be ignored, and that the profound benefits of acceleration outweigh the social risks in most cases (Colangelo, Assouline, & Gross, 2004). Some researchers have found a little-fish-big-pond effect on the self-esteem on some kids, but again, the effect is usually small and temporary. It has been speculated that this effect may even be healthy for the egos of these super-talented kids (Cloud, Badowski, Rubiner, & Scully, 2004)! In a 2010 article, researchers note, “To be clear, there is no evidence that acceleration has a negative impact on a student’s social-emotional development” (Colangelo N. , et al., 2010). This is somewhat of a contradiction to what I had previously stated, however, it may be safe to say that there is little evidence that a child’s social-emotional development will be harmed in the process of acceleration, as long as their case is carefully considered prior to making changes in their educational plan. 

How do I know if the gifted child in my life is a good candidate for acceleration?

When it comes to deciding which students are good candidates for acceleration, several factors should be considered. Feldhusen, Proctor, and Black suggest that there should be a “comprehensive psychological evaluation of the child’s intellectual functioning, academic skill levels, and social-emotional adjustment by a psychologist” (2002). Following that, they make several recommendations about the child. They should have:

• Intellectually, an IQ of 125 or higher or have a level of mental development above the mean for the grade he or she desires to enter. 
• Academically, the child should demonstrate skill levels above the mean for the grade desired. If the child is high in several skill levels but low in only one, they child may be advanced to the appropriate grade level as long as private tutoring is provided in the area of weakness. Conversely, some children’s academic skill levels vary considerably. If they are far advanced in math, for example, but at- or below-level in language arts, subject area acceleration may be the most appropriate option. 
• Socially and emotionally, the child should be free of any serious adjustment problems. Additionally, the child should demonstrate a high degree of persistence and motivation for learning. However, in specific cases, there may be serious adjustment problems caused by inappropriately low grade placement. In such cases, the problem may be alleviated by grade advancement. 
• Physically, the child should be in good health. The child’s size should only be considered to the extent that competitive sports may be viewed as important in later years. The psychologist should determine that the child does not feel unduly pressured by the parents to advance. 
• The parents must be in favor of grade advancement, but the child should express a desire to more ahead as well. 
• The receiving teachers must have positive attitudes toward acceleration and be willing to help the child adjust to the new situation. 
• Transitions should generally be made at naturally occurring points throughout the school year. 
• All cases should be arranged on a trial basis, and the child should not be made to feel he or she is a failure if it does not go well. 

All bulleted information: (Feldhusen, Proctor, & Black, 2002, pp. 170-171) 

The Iowa Acceleration Scale (IAS), created by Great Potential Press, Inc. is on of the best tools to help determine whether a child is a good candidate for subject-area and/or whole-grade acceleration. This tool takes what could be a subjective decision, left up to anecdotal data and presuppositions about the child, and changes it into an objective decision by quantifying information such as the child's birth order, extracurricular involvement, his or her feelings about acceleration, his age, size, and many other factors. The IAS combines that information with scores from grade-level and above-grade-level nationally normed tests. 

It appears that the case for acceleration is very clear, supported by years of documentation of the positive effects. And yet, for the most part, general education practitioners often resist making this option available for their bright students, even though the research suggests that doing so is effective (Viadero, 2004). If we can’t provide children with neatly tailored educational packages designed only for them, then at the very least we should enable them to move ahead at a pace and to a level that meets their needs! Research finds little data to support the notion that people are affected negatively in the end. In fact, longitudinal research has shown that accelerated students attain advanced degrees, produce scholarly works, and contribute professionally at rates well above societal baselines (Feldhusen, Proctor, & Black, 2002). It is important to get the word out to educators and parents that acceleration is an option, and it is an option well worth considering. 

Success Stories

In my time teaching gifted children, I have been a part of acceleration teams in two different schools. We always used the Iowa Acceleration Scale, met with parents multiple times, had very open dialogue with the children in consideration for this academic intervention, and had honest conversations with teachers who would be receiving the accelerated children. I'm proud to say that (to my most up-to-date knowledge) every. single. case has been a success. I experienced the process both as a teacher sending the child up to a new teacher (or teachers) in the grade level above me, as well as a teacher on the receiving end of the acceleration, accepting the accelerated child into my class. Each time, I watched the acceleration play out just as the research has suggested it would. There was usually a period of adjustment in the beginning (going from the big fish/little pond scenario to the little(er) fish in a big(ger) pond),  sometimes the child was reluctant at first to have to work at learning, or disappointed to get scores on assignments or tests that were slightly lower than what they were used to getting. However, it wasn't long before the successes started happening. In each case, not only did the child quickly assimilate to the next grade level up, but they also rose to the top of that class as well. 

Do you have a success story? I would love to hear it! Leave me a comment below and tell me about your experience. 

You may be interested in reading more about people who have experienced the acceleration process. Here are some websites at which you can find more information: 

Whole grade acceleration success stories


Read more about acceleration, including the follow-up publication to A Nation Deceived: How Schools Hold Back America's Brightest Students, titled A Nation Empowered How Evidence Trumps the Excuses Holding Back America's Brightest Students.  This website has all the latest information, including the poster below, which is an awesome summary of their research. 

Thanks for reading!

~Jen

Sources

Brown, R. S. (1993). School acceleration: What does the research say? Scope , 2-9.

Cloud, J., Badowski, C., Rubiner, B., & Scully, S. (2004, September 27). Saving the smart kids. Time , pp. 56-61.

Colangelo, N., & Assouline, S. (2005). Accelerating gifted children. Principal , 62-62.

Colangelo, N., Assouline, S. G., & Gross, M. U. (2004). A Nation Deceived: How Schools Hold Back America's Brightest Students. Iowa City: The University of Iowa.

Colangelo, N., Assouline, S. G., Marron, M., Castellano, J. A., Clinkenbeard, P. R., Rogers, K., et al. (2010). Guidelines for developing an academic acceleration policy. Journal of Advanced Academics , 180-203.

Den-Mo, T. (2007). Differentiating curriculum for gifted students by providing accelerated options. Gifted Education International , 88-97.

Feldhusen, J. F., Proctor, T. B., & Black, K. N. (2002). Guidelines for grade advancement of precocious children. Roeper Review , 169-171.

Gross, M. U. (2006). Exceptionally gifted children: Long-term outcomes of academic acceleration and non-acceleration. Journal for the Education of the Gifted , 404-429.

Guenther, A. (1998). What parents and teachers should know about academic acceleration. National Research Center on the Gifted and Talented . Washington, DC: Office of Educational Research and Improvement.

Robinson, A., Shore, B. M., & Enersen, D. L. (2007). Best Practices in Gifted Education. Waco, TX: Prufrock Press, Inc. .

Vanderkam, L., & Whitmire, R. (2009, August 12). What ever happened to grade skipping? Education Week , pp. 30-36.

Viadero, D. (2004, September 24). Report urges acceleration for gifted students. Education Week , pp. 5-5.

8

Helping Your Gifted Student Survive (and Thrive) During the Season of High-Stakes Testing: Fourteen Tips for Before, During, and After the Test

Feeling the Pressure

Children of all ages are starting to feel the pressure that surrounds this season of high-stakes testing.

Gifted children, in particular, may feel a great deal of pressure to achieve at the highest levels on these tests. Sometimes the pressure is self-imposed, stemming from an internal desire to live up to their "gifts." Other times, it comes from a longing to please their teachers and parents.

And, unfortunately, some school cultures, even while trying to put a positive spin on the mandatory testing, have caused our children to worry that they will somehow underperform or let their peers down if they make mistakes on the tests. I've recently even heard of schools creating test-based competitions--children with the highest scores are rewarded with parties and prizes!

While no doubt, these efforts to increase test engagement are coming from a positive place of trying to motivate the students body as a whole to try to perform well on the tests, they end up increasing the pressure exponentially for gifted students, who are looked to as the people who are "supposed" to get the best scores. After all, they're so smart, right?  And, even if you're lucky enough to be teaching in a place that doesn't place much importance on the tests, even if you give your best efforts to minimize testing pressure, your gifted students will STILL sense the weight of the tests, because of the nature of their giftedness and heightened sensitivity to external stimuli.

Teachers and parents can try to say that the test scores don't matter, but if there is even a hint of inauthenticity to those statements, you can bet your gifted child or student is going to pick up on it. 

I know that my gifted students, particularly my fourth and fifth graders, consistently expressed their worry about upcoming state tests, despite the daily reminders that these high-stakes tests were largely worthless, only measuring accurately the average income levels of students' parents, not a big deal. They had gotten the notion in their heads that if they were to underperform on the exams, they wouldn't be gifted anymore, and then they wouldn't be able to come to my classes any longer.

Can you imagine if that were true? Sorry, kids. You can't come to the place where your academic (and social-emotional) needs are truly being met. It's not illogical thinking, though, is it? After all, didn't a test get them into "the program"? So, we had many, many talks about how the results of the tests would be used, and how none of those uses included being used to disqualify them from being labeled as gifted.*

Telling the children these facts helped to ease some of their fears a little, but there are some important things we need to know about our gifted children as they face any testing scenario.  I also have some suggestions for ways to help your anxiety-ridden child cope with their worries. 

Tried and True Tips for Facing Testing Fears and Moving Forward

There are some important and helpful things you can do to help ease your gifted child's fears. Many of these are things I did in my gifted classroom with my students, so I've learned from experience that they really do help!

Before the Test

1. First, no matter whether it is a high-stakes testing scenario or a pop quiz in your math class, it is important to acknowledge that the anxiety that your gifted student is experiencing is real. When a person experiences this type of anxiety, it can cause the body's fight or flight response to be triggered, which in essence renders the brain's critical thinking areas far less effective than normal. It's important that we recognize these real fears and real physiological responses instead of trying to minimize them or brush them off. 

2.  Help your gifted student become familiar with the test. It's easy to assume that your students already know the answers to many of these questions, but remember, when they're stressed, their critical thinking skills aren't functioning like they normally do! Allow your children to ask every. single. question. they have, and please don't make them feel silly for asking (see number one above). Here are some examples of things you may want to discuss about the test itself.

• What is the format of the test? What types of questions will they encounter?
• How long will the test take? How many questions will there be?
• Is it timed or do they have as long as they need to finish?
• Can they skip questions and come back? 
• If the test is on a computer, what will happen if the computer has a problem? 
• If the test is a pencil/paper test, what will happen if they forget a pencil? What if the pencil breaks? 

3. See if you can help the child identify their own internal dialogue--what are they fearful of exactly? What is that pesky little voice inside saying to them? Once you get to the bottom of what they're telling themselves, work toward changing the dialogue to something more positive.** Below are some examples of common things I heard my gifted students say:

• "If I don't pass the test, I might get kicked out of the gifted program at school." 
• "What if Johnny Gifted-Peer gets a higher score than me?" Or worse, "What if Suzy Not-Gifted-Peer gets a better score than me?" 
• "I'm afraid that my mom (teacher, dad, etc.) will be disappointed in me if I mess up."
• "I'm not good at taking tests."

4. If the child is being tested on something he or she finds challenging, it's a great time to teach proper study skills like making flash cards, recopying notes, devising mnemonic devices, etc.  If they feel really well prepared for the tests, the anxiety can be lessened. 

5. Help your student practice asking for help if they need it. I know that this can be particularly difficult (I know this from my own experience! I didn't (and still don't) like asking for help). I found it helpful to develop a quiet signal that a student and I could use if they needed help. Sometimes it was as simple as placing a sticky note in a particular area on their desk or computer, maybe it was a baseball-coach-style ear tug or nose wiggle. Whatever it was, if the student was willing to ask for help after we minimized the risk of drawing attention to themselves for needing help, I was a happy camper. 

6. Prepare physically for the test. This includes getting proper sleep, nutrition, and exercise in the days leading up to the test. 

During the Test

1. Have your student or child use breathing strategies to help ease the body's physical response.

2. Allow (and encourage) them to take breaks as needed. 

3. Make them hydrate! There is scientific evidence that water acts like a mental lubricant--increasing brain efficiency and function. 

4. Allow your gifted student to keep a small stress ball or other small comfort object nearby or in a pocket.

5. Help your child decide on a short phrase, an affirmation of sorts, to visualize or whisper as needed.  

After the Test

1. Debrief, but focus on the positive. What do they feel went well? (Teachers, be careful. Unfortunately, you will need to be sure you stick to generalities here. If you've ever proctored a high-stakes test, you know that the testing protocols are usually QUITE strict about not allowing any discussion of the tests' content whatsoever.) 

2. Rest. Test-taking is difficult for everyone, but it can really take a physical toll on children with high levels of anxiety. Allow time for your students to rest and relax. They need it (and you probably do, to!)

3. Move on. It's over now. There's nothing left to do. Remind your gifted child that they've done their absolute best and no matter what, your opinion of them won't change. Remind them that you're proud of them for facing their fears and getting through a tough time in their life!

Phew! You made it to the bottom of the post! And good thing you did, because I have a FREEBIE just for you! Click on the image on the right to sign up for access a handout that contains the tips above written in student-friendly language. It's ready for you to print and use, then send home for parents to read with their kids! *Just to be clear, by clicking to get the freebie (and instant access to the growing collection of free resources in my library of subscriber exclusives), you're also agreeing to be added to my email list, where I'll send occasional messages with fresh ideas, tips, and other resources straight to your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time.*


Thank you so VERY much for reading. I do appreciate it! If you like what you're reading, don't miss a post! Click the subscribe button on the right to get emails with my blog posts delivered right to your inbox!

*Thankfully, in Ohio the law protects children from the removal of the gifted label. The law is written so that once they are identified as gifted, they will always carry the gifted label.*

**It's important to recognize that while you can help a child practice changing the dialogue, they may really benefit from a visit to the school counselor or therapist who is better equipped to handle these things. Don't be afraid to refer the child for more help!

References:

Tips for taming test anxiety (because even gifted kids get anxious), by Gail Post, Ph.D.
Keeping a Healthy Perspective on Stress and Test Anxiety, by Vidisha Patel
Gifted Students...Scared of Tests? Part 2, by Christopher Taibbi, M.A.T.
Why Your Brain Needs Water, by Joshua Gowin Ph.D

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Ten Things I Wish People Would Stop Saying About Gifted Students: Common Misconceptions about Gifted Learners Illustrated by Harry Potter and Friends

Having spent 10 years in the classroom, and six of those ten years in gifted education, I've heard many people--both parents and teachers--say things (whether they were 100% serious or not) about the gifted population that are just so untrue! My goal today is most certainly not to offend anyone in the education field, or any parents. I know for sure that for the vast majority of teachers and parents, we all want to do what is best for all children. Our intentions are innately positive. I also know that there is a huge lack of training in teacher education programs on how to meet the needs of gifted learners. And for parents, unless you seek out information from reputable institutions or gifted advocacy groups, you don't always hear this information, either. I hope that by writing this post today, with the help of some tongue-in-cheek memes of the archetypal gifted characters from one of my favorite book series, I can in some small way, help educate people about some of the most common myths that seem to come up over and over again. 

1. They'll be FINE in the regular classroom. 

The truth is simple here. According to a national study conducted by The National Research Center on Gifted and Talented indicated that your highly gifted student comes to you knowing up to 80% of the material you plan to teach them this year. EIGHTY.PERCENT. There is a disturbing lack of urgency surrounding the need to provide gifted learners with NEW material! Think about this for a minute. You KNOW you've been to a professional development day or a staff meeting in which you already knew most of the material being presented. Lucky for you, the meeting or PD usually lasts for only a few hours, possibly up to maybe a few days. Were you bored? Did you benefit from sitting through those meetings? How did you feel? Bored. Frustrated. Despondent. You probably found other ways to entertain your self, right? Maybe you're reading my blog during one of those meetings. (If that's the case, don't stop--you'll probably learn something here today! Wink, Wink!) Now, multiply that feeling of boredom or frustration times 180 DAYS. The average school day for a child is somewhere between six and seven hours. Let's be realistic and say that you have only moderately gifted students in your classroom and they only know 50% of your curriculum. 180 days times 6.5 hours is 1,170 hours spent with you in a year. If they come in knowing 50% of the material, that means they're spending 585 HOURS just this year NOT LEARNING.  I don't know about you--but seeing these statistics in black and white makes them even more stark. That's nearly FIFTEEN 40-hour work weeks! Imagine! We've GOT to work hard meeting these students where they are in their knowledge and move them forward. There's a chance that little gifted Joe will seem fine, because he's learned to be complacent, well-behaved, and respectful. Please believe me when I say that he will most certainly be worlds better if he's actually given the opportunity to learn something new. 

2. They didn't get 100% on that test, so why should I give him special treatment? Or, geez, they bombed that assignment. I thought they were"gifted." Or, how can she be gifted? She's never had straight A's. 

                                     

First of all, using specific interventions to meet the needs of ANY learner isn't giving special treatment. It's best practice. Second, gifted students are human beings--prone to imperfection since the inception of our existence (even Wizards make mistakes). Third, gifted students can be underachievers. If they've been identified as gifted, it means that they have been identified as having a higher than average potential for learning. If they're not meeting their potential, that's a problem. There are many reasons why a gifted student may be underperforming in school, ranging from a loss of interest from being under-challenged for a period of time, to a child trying to fit in socially who masks his or her giftedness by making mistakes on purpose. Perhaps the child is finally being presented with complex information that he doesn't already know, and hasn't learned effective strategies for working toward understanding yet because it wasn't necessary.  It could also be that the child has a learning disability that is impairing their ability to meet their potential. It's important to investigate which of these issues is at the root of the underachievement so that steps can be taken to fix the issue(s). 

3. Their parents are SUCH a pain. Why won't they just leave me alone? Ugh. Helicopter parents. 

Ok, to be fair, if you've been teaching for a while more than five minutes, you know that there are a certain group of parents who can seem a little...more challenging. Sometimes, you truly do have a set of parents that seem to hover a little more closely to their child than what you'd prefer--you know them when you see them. They seem overprotective, perhaps sometimes preventing their child from feeling the sting of failure or cushioning their fall a little too much. They may even blame circumstances or other people for their child's missteps, and bail them out a little too quickly. (If you're one of these parents, STOP IT! You're not helping your child!) However, most of the time, the parent that wants to talk to you about their child is living out what's become their "normal." They know that they have an exceptional child, and they have learned early on that teachers sometimes have a lack of understanding of giftedness, and as a result, have a hard time meeting their child's needs. And because they don't want their child to sit through 585 hours of class this year not learning,  or because they need to communicate that their child has some intensities that you should know about, they've learned that they need to stay in close contact with the teachers responsible for spending 1,170 hours with their child this year. The best thing you can do is listen, be patient, be calm, and remind yourself that with great (proactive) communication, you can work together with parents to make this year a success!

4. Well, if they'd stop acting up in class, I would give them their different/special/whatever work. 

Yes, you'd prefer that your students behave properly at all times. Who doesn't?! Here's the thing. If you consider the information above about how much time a child is potentially spending in your classroom NOT LEARNING, then it makes sense that you might have a problem with the student losing interest, and eventually finding ways to entertain themselves. I know I did this (and sometimes still do). I was a gifted high achiever. I wanted to please my parents and teachers and I definitely wanted to avoid getting into trouble. BUT, I also lost interest sometimes, because I already knew the answers to all of the teachers questions. So, I found quiet and creative ways to entertain myself during school. I organized my desk, and doodled on the borders of my papers, I even partnered with another gifted student in my class to make up our own alphabet so that we could write notes to each other in a "different language." You know when I wasn't doing these inventive  little  things? When the teacher gained my attention with new information in class, when they created projects for me to work on independently so I didn't have to read or listen to the content in the next chapter of the science textbook, when I got to choose a new topic to pursue on my own or with that gifted peer of mine. I know it may seem as thought you're "rewarding" their poor behavior choices. But you're not. You are, in fact, providing for them what they NEED. You are recognizing that behavioral problems they're exhibiting are likely CAUSED by the fact that you weren't giving them what they NEED. In the end, you, your class, and especially your gifted student will all be much happier once you start providing for the learning needs of your gifted student. 

5.  I wish they'd stop being so know-it-all and correcting me all the time!

                           

Well, this one is a little sticky. Of course your gifted student should learn to be respectful, try not to interrupt you, and definitely refrain from correcting you in front of the whole class, right? The thing that makes this a little trickier for gifted learners goes back to the nature of the gifted child in general. The traits that make them who they are, can sometimes interfere with the expectations for how you'd like to run things in your classroom. One of the traits of giftedness is that gifted children can be perfectionists. They have extremely high expectations for themselves and others when it comes to accuracy. Further, their little gifted brains have such a high capacity for learning and remembering things, and making rapid connections to previous knowledge, it may just be that they've had an epiphany of sorts and their excitement precludes their manners. Finally, it may be that your gifted student has psychomotor overexcitabilty, and they have a hard time controlling their energy/impulses. In my classroom, we had many conversations about productive and appropriate ways to communicate with teachers (or others in general) when they disagree with what's being said. We took time to model how to address disagreements without being rude. Quite honestly, it never bothered me when a student pointed out mistakes to me, as long as they weren't rude about it (which we also rehearsed frequently at first).  I am the first to admit that despite my own perfectionistic tendencies, I do sometimes make mistakes (I know--it's a shocker!),  and with each mistake comes an opportunity for learning. 

6. They just need to stop complaining about things not being fair! 

The ability to recognize social injustice or inequity is another gifted trait. It relates back to Dabrowski's Emotional Overexcitability. These children are exceptionally perceptive. They experience the world differently than a typically developing child. They are sensitive to injustice, and just as they called you out for making a mistake in your math equation five minutes ago, they will note any perceived injustice or imbalance in your classroom. Again, as teachers or parents, it's important that we step back and think for a minute--is this perception of what's happening something truly unfair? Is there an imbalance that needs adjusting? Or is it time to have a talk about what fairness truly means? One thing I really felt proud about as a teacher is that I felt like my students walked away with an honest-to-goodness sense of understanding that fair does not mean equal. It took lots of class meetings, modeling, and open discussions, but I do feel that students understood that fairness can take on different appearances, depending on the circumstances. 

7. That kid is gifted? Well, not in my class, he's not. 

Asynchronicity is one of the hallmark characteristics of gifted children. In a nutshell, being asynchronous in your development means that parts of you grow or develop unevenly, or out of "sync" with other parts of your development. The resulting issue is that you may have a gifted child who can hold his own in an AP calculus class, but has a hard time writing a coherent paragraph. The child may not be able to complete simple computations yet, but has the emotional maturity to be able to keep up with adult conversations (and he probably prefers those conversations to those of his peers). The point is, you may have gifted students who are developing evenly all the way around--they're rockstars in every sense of the word. But more likely than not, you're going to see discrepancies, sometimes significant, between different aspects of the child's development. It's okay. It's normal. It's time to meet them where they are, and push them forward, no matter where the starting point.

8.  You're a GENIUS! You just like, know stuff without even TRYING! 

Ugh. This. It happens all the time, and with the most positive intentions. You're trying to compliment a child you notice has a penchant for achieving. To the observer, the gifted brain can be like a sponge--rapidly soaking in all sorts of information. It looks like they don't even have to work hard at learning (and they don't always need to!). Even the term gifted, has connotations that this intelligence was a present from above, right?

There is truth to thought that gifted children are born with innate talents, but it's risky to focus so much on this inborn ability because it can undermine the child's motivation, and lead to Dweck's "Fixed Mindset," or the belief that their intelligence is set. So, if a child perceives herself as having this gift of intelligence, she thinks she won't ever have to work at learning. And if this same person fails at something, then she starts to question whether she truly is as smart as they she thought she was. Eventually, this could lead to the child taking fewer risks because he doesn't want to endure the experience of failing, they don't want to put in the work it takes to learn something they don't already know, and they may even start questioning their own self-worth. Not good, right?

Experts in the field, such as renown psychologist Carol Dweck, suggest that we praise students for their effort as opposed to their achievements. Others, like Alfie Kohn even suggest that we remove praise altogether, as it can be intrusive, manipulative, and ultimately take away from a child's intrinsic satisfaction.  I think a middle ground is probably best. When you see a gifted child doing well, watch them. Really watch. Watch closely enough that you can provide specific feedback about that you see them working hard at improving. Don't overpraise, and try not to use praise as a form of manipulation, or create a situation in which complacency is rewarded too frequently.

9. Kids need to learn to be bored. It's a life skill.

Bored feels like a swear word, doesn't it? The mention of the word can raise the hackles of even the most talented teacher. I don't encourage the use of the term, but if you hear it, despite how angry it makes you, you need to listen and reflect on what could be happening in your home or classroom.

There are many reasons for which a child may determine that they feel "bored," including feelings of sadness or anger, experiencing work that is too difficult, or perhaps they're overstimulated. What your gifted child could be expressing though, is their frustration at the lack of learning or progress toward learning. Which should lead you into a thought process that includes reflecting on why this child is frustrated at the lack of progress. Gifted children, pretty much by definition, learn faster than the average learner, needing only 1-3 repetitions of new material, instead of the typical 6-8. Not to mention (again) that this child came to you already knowing much of the content you were planning to present. It's important to consider all this when the dreaded B-word is uttered in your presence. Are you giving this child new material to master? Are you wasting their time by having them repeatedly "learn" material they've known for years? Perhaps they really are getting overstimulated, or maybe they're frustrated about something that's too difficult for them. Either way, we shouldn't be okay with kids being bored and we need to work understanding the cause, and working toward fixing the problem.

10. Acceleration? You mean like, grade-skipping? No way. He needs to be with his age-mates. Don't you think this will be bad for their social-emotional growth? 

Acceleration is the single most researched intervention for gifted students. It has been found time and again to be the BEST way to help  highly gifted children grow towards reaching their potential. There is virtually no evidence that acceleration has a negative impact on a child's social or emotional growth. It's cost effective, and the results are overwhelmingly positive. In fact, when comparing the achievement levels of an accelerated child to the same grade-peers, the accelerated child's scores are in the average range in their first year of acceleration, and among the highest in the grade in all the subsequent years of their education, including college. Further, acceleration doesn't always mean grade-skipping! There are actually 18 different forms of acceleration. To name a few, there is subject-area acceleration, whole grade acceleration (or grade skipping), early entrance to kindergarten, telescoping (in which more than one year's worth of curriculum is learned in a single year), and radical acceleration (skipping more than one grade, or advancing at a very rapid pace through the curriculum). 

Of course, acceleration is not a magic bullet. It needs to be carefully considered for each child. Using the IOWA acceleration scale is a good practice, as it quantifies factors in the child's life other than the child's academic achievement. 

To be sure, this list is NOT exhaustive. Leave me a comment below with something you've heard about gifted kids which you know (or suspect) to be untrue! I'm curious!

Thanks so much for reading!
~Jen

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